The Plan

We all have our plans and these plans change over time.  They change as a function of our age and some plans are somewhat involuntary and spontaneous while some others are well thought out and sequenced.  Plans are independent and can be the culmination of thought and precise wargaming of scenarios with sets of assumptions to develop what we see as the optimum plan for any given situation.  Plans may be personal in nature such as marriage (which can also be spontaneous or well thought out) or organizational.  The fact remains that there is one plan for each of us - and yes while I can influence or interrupt that plan by my own doing - a certain plan is there that exists for me unique in nature to my self.  

Why am I thinking of this today?  Today and yesterday, I was faced with challenges and hurdles, frustrations and roadblocks, to the point where my mind was in total chaos.  I questioned myself, "what am I  doing, why am I here..." and no matter what perspective I looked at things, nothing seemed to be right.  I could not see what was wrong but of what I saw I knew was not right.  Last night, I went to bed not angry, but confused.

I heard it said in a sermon some time ago (and I wish I could credit this to who said it - was it from "God's Purpose for your Life?" that you will always fail if you go against God's plan for your life.  And then this came into my mind today.  Am I going against God's plan?  Is that why I am frustrated?  Or am I being tested in some other way and for something else?  I know I am to be patient and wait and that all will be revealed (On God's timetable not mine...) so here I am....

As the day passed today, even though it seemed there were those who were aligning against me, slowly a peace came over me and my decisions seemed very clear.  I read: Psalm 27, which closes with:

"...be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord."

Obedience is not always easy for me.

~Bagram ~ 30 June 2009

Long Days ~ Short Weeks

Over the past 21 days - with our merry band of builders - a combination of Americans, Turks, Uzbeks, Kirghiz, Afgans, Turkmen, and an assorted range of others, we have placed about 13,000 cubic meters  of concrete on the taxiway here - about half the total on this taxiway.  Combined with our other projects we will place enough concrete to rise to a height of 88 feet on an American football field.  The logistical challenge is daunting -- we have to contend with an operational airfield (the busiest in theater) that has combat (close air support/air to surface), logistical, surveillance, helicopters, and unmanned aerial aircraft taking off or landing every few minutes  in close proximity to our work.  The wingtips miss us by a very close margin so not a lot of room for error-communications with ground control is our friend.  

The days begin with grading and setting forms, establishing our quality checks, and finally, around 7 PM every night, firing up the batch plant and hauling the concrete to the paver which sits rumbling until it can turn the mixed mass into a smooth taxiway surface.  We usually finish at 2 AM.  

The recent rocket attacks forced us to cancel midstream in one night, and the following night, one of the rolling fuel tankers found out what happens when you run into a concrete truck.  The tank lost and ultimately spilled over 1200 gallons of fuel on the ground.  We were able to salvage the waiting concrete, but the fuel, well that's another story...

I am wondering what the long hours will do to us - we need a new routine and it's on my list..

frm the world of insha allah, I wonder where my weeks go...

Father's Day 2009 ~ Bagram Air Base

There are pieces of my father, my grandfather, his father, and so on -- in me.  Not only physical characteristics, but habits, ways of thought, principles, teachings, beliefs, morals, and so on are carried in me from generations past.  How fortunate to be in this moment of time, to consider such a priceless investment that ultimately has culminated in me.  I am fortunate to have my own father still with me today - although 7,000 miles away - we remain connected.  

Through 55 years, my Dad has always been there.  To right me when I was wrong, to lead me when I needed leading, and sometimes giving me the latitude to decide things on my own while sitting back and watching me mature.  I think I matured a lot slower than he would have liked, (and he might say I am not there yet even today), but I have to say, that my Dad did a pretty darn good job balancing between me and my four brothers.  We all needed different strengths and characters built in many different ways.  We all have our head on our shoulders and are leading productive lives. You Dad, have done your duty in passing down all those good qualities of our forefathers, you have taught us the value of hard work, faithfulness, and morally walking in life.  What better father could I ask for?  You have taken us to faraway places, have sacrificed a comfortable life to serve those in need.  You have lived with principle and determination and that has helped us be positive in life no matter the dire situations that sometimes around us.

My only hope Dad, is that I can pass along to my sons, all you have passed to me.  Thanks for being the Dad you are, have always been, and will always be!

Love,  Scott 

Brotherhood

Although long, the days give me a lot of time to think... There exists a special brotherhood for those involved in this lifestyle - it's a necessary thing to make up for the separation that we put ourselves in.  The brotherhood is a special bond that is not openly discussed, but you know it to be there.  Here, you learn quite quickly who you can depend on, who you cannot - and because you are around them all the time, you become aware of each person's idiosyncrasies be they be tolerable or intolerable.  

I will write on a future post about the Turks with whom I have been working, as well the Afghans and other nationalities. Aside from the military population, there exists another culture separate and distinct from our brothers in arms.  Some of these men have dedicated years of their lives to the war effort both in Iraq and Afghanistan.  They have provided the platforms from which the battles and campaigns have been launched - some going on for 5 and 6 years straight.  

Is it making a difference?  Time will tell.  I saw recently where someone in the media - or perhaps the Obama administration - stated that Iraq was a "war of convenience" and Afghanistan was a "war of necessity."  Yet they are both wars and both outcomes yet to be decided.  In the end, it doesn't matter how the engagement started, but it will certainly matter if not terminated right.

This is an interesting place to build a brotherhood.  It can never replace home...

The Wind of 120 Days

The wind of 120 days that usually blow northwest from June to September started early this year in Mid May.  The winds are not continuous but can be quite fierce and resilient - a little like the Afghan people the wind blows upon...Cloud patterns are tremendous and ever changing.  When the wind settles, dust devils rise 1000 meters reaching for the sky.  The subarctic winds from the north converge with a divergent fringe from south Pakistan creating this wind tunnel across the fertile Shomali plains which is where Bagram Air Base presently sits.  The wind are accompanied by varying degrees of heat, wind, low to mid humidity causing fine particles to find their way through any cracks and crevices and leave a light coating of light brown silty dust on everything.  Not only on, it gets in every orifice so I find myself mining in my ears and nose every few days wondering what monster has grown in there.  Today was an especially windy day - I was out on the airfield and the windsock was blowing full, confirming what I knew, the wind coming from the northwest...The sun at this altitude, combined with this wind condition hardens the skin like leather.

These winds blow across the Bagram plain - as they have for 1000s of years.  To the northeast is the mouth of the Panjsir, the strikingly steep mountain valley where Ahmed Shah Massoud held his ground against both the Soviets and the Taliban until his assassination on 09 Sep 2001.  Massoud remains a hero and is known locally as the Lion of Panjsir. 

The wind here takes many forms and has a character different than that in the states.  Perhaps this is due to the landscape and the terrain it must pass over.  sometimes violent lightning storms light the sky that create eerie glows when the flash of light reflects off the silica particles in the air.

I have a sudden craving for a cold beer...

Last Breath

A vision came to me in the night, a very lucid dream.  My favorite dog of all my years lay on the ground, he had been given the dose of medicine that was to take him from all his little pain.  Mind you that I had been awoken at approximately midnight on February 19, 2009 in Kabul and my first thought was of that little dog.  Ten minutes later, my wife had called with the dog in her lap, he had taken his last breath - yes 10 minutes prior - he had reached out one last time to his master - on his last day and across the world 7,000 miles to say good bye.  Across the vastness of land and oceans - a dog can reach his master.

Back to my lucid dream last night... My dog, Skipper lay beside me and I realized that he was gone.  I reached down and could see my hand touch him on his side.  I placed my hand there on his left side (he always favored laying on his right side) on his little rib cage, whereupon he took his last breath, sighed as he exhaled, and in his way said, "good bye."  

I went home in May.  Things were different.  I had not adjusted to the void of the little pup...it just did not seem right to not have him there...The house was different.  Quiet. 

This dream has been on my mind today and that vision - so clear - keeps reoccurring.  Here it is, almost four months after the passing of that pup and he still returns to remind me of his faithfulness and loyalty.  Why does a dog have this effect on me?  I learned many lessons of life through that little creature.  

I gained much more from my little follower, my little companion than I ever gave back.  No matter my mood or feelings, he was always there to greet me.  Cheerful, loving, loyal, playful, and faithful to his last day.    I yearn to give to others as he did to me.  I will always miss that little pup...